They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Even my vagina gasped.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
