at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
