I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
