Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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