Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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