Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
only if we run a train.
done.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
