Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Randomize
