We're like a lot better than the average bears
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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