Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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