i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
