She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
