So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
3pm strippers are depressing
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
