So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
