WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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