just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
