a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
