You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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