all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
