Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
