Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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