He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
