So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
