8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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