I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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