whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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