cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
