Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
