Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
only you would photoshop your dick
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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