I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
