I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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