When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
