So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Acid is not a monday night drug
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
