im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
