3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
