i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
