oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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