I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
