I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
