p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
