The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
