Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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