I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
