I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
