He uses pillows to masturbate.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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