You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
soo... how was my night?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
