We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You need Xanax blowdarts
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
