She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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