my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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