you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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