I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
