Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
