i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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