Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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