I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
